We interrupt this global catastrophe to…

We interrupt this global catastrophe to bring you a message from our sponsor who is selling incredibly useless stuff that you don’t need but he has a great pitch.

(This was first posted on March 26 2011 shortly after Barack Obama really did go to South America while ignoring problems here.)

We interrupt this global catastrophe to provide a sexy flirty representative claiming to be a customer that tells you how much she loves Ariza insurence. Please ignore the fact that this advertisement costs an enormous amount of money which will be paid for from your premiums and the fact that profits for the insurance companies are being moved to off shore accounts. Please do not even consider the possibility that that you should have some say in how your premium dollars are spent. There will be plenty of money left over if you have a claim as a result of this global catastrophe; if not you can always hire a lawyer to fight for your share of what little is left.We interrupt this global catastrophe to remind you that Mica is still the queen of flirting like a teenager and manipulating the public despite the enormous amount of competition she receives from many other news commentators including at least a couple of celebrity flirting “judges.”

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that Dennis Miller still has time to join Bill O’Reilly so that they can make fun of those they disagree with like a couple of high school teenagers from the cool crowd.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that Glenn Beck is still…… Glen Beck; how can I possibly come up with a better analogy than that??

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that Barack Obama has made his picks for the play offs.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that we can’t remember which global catastrophe we’re interrupting; is it the earthquake that hit Japan? The tsunami that hit Japan? The potential nuclear meltdown that followed? Or is it the wave of revolutions that are sweeping the Arab world and the fact that we have started another war on top of who knows how many other wars we’re involved in. One thing you can be certain of now that we have an excuse to focus on something besides Wisconsin there is no way in hell that we’ll pay much attention to workers rights.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that Barack Obama would never take these global catastrophe’s lightly and he will act decisively by going to…. South America. Um THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!! IT MUST I AM SAYING IT WITH CONVICTION.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to remind you that we haven’t forgotten Wisconsin we will be reporting on it extensively before the end of the broadcast…. If we have time; if not we’ll be sure to find a few minutes to talk about it; or perhaps we’ll just drop a half dozen more teasers to keep you watching so that you’ll sit through all the commercials which is the really important thing anyway.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that studies funded by the same corporations that caused the recent environmental disasters have conclusively proven that there is nothing to worry about; therefore we can step up the rush to expand off shore drilling and build new nuclear reactors and cut funding the agencies regulating them at the same time.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that we think you are incredibly stupid! Furthermore we must be right; why else wouldn’t we have gone bankrupt or reformed years ago? Perhaps you’re not incredibly stupid just everyone but you.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you of the fact that the author of this blog seems to think that he can keep your attention by repeating the same phrase over and over again; either that or he can’t type well and is using the cut and paste option to fill up space really quick.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that a Fox news anchor has recently asked a member of a Texas school organization; “Isn’t assimilating to our society part of being an American?” the board member responded by saying, “Absolutely.” Then she went on to talk about how great and glorious the pledge of allegiance is and how America is so exceptional.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to remind you that since America is so great and glorious then when they kill thousands of people often referred to as “collateral damage” that is conclusive evidence of the fact that they must be evil people guilty of something. Even the children.

We interrupt this global catastrophe to inform you that you will be assimilated into the corporate capitalist cult. Resistance is futile.

(For more information on Blog see Blog description and table of context for most older posts.)

The following are the original replies when this was first posted on Open Salon.

Excellent example of the systematic effort by Wall Street and the media to mess with our minds.

Dr Stuart Jeanne Bramhall March 26, 2011 09:28 PM

Oh I am scared and them some....

Algis Kemezys March 27, 2011 04:57 AM

We interrupt this global catastrophe to congratulate President Obama for having his very own war, not left-over wars from the Bush Administration. You go man!

scanner March 27, 2011 06:44 AM