Craigslist is Evil!!!

In 2009 Philip Markoff went on a killing spree murdering thousands of prostitutes that he found on Craigslist. Just last year two more murderers started killing thousands more people that they found through Craigslist and lured in with false offers of a job. Then late in the year the evil people haunting Craigslist met their match when they chose the wrong target; they attempted to rob a heroic marine who plugged several bullet holes with his fingers and went on to foil the robbery by these evil people.

But these things aren’t the biggest thing that makes Craigslist evil; nor is it even close; in fact the sacrifices these people made may serve a much greater cause when it comes to putting an end to the true evil behind Craigslist.

The real problem that makes Craigslist evil is the fact that it enables people to buy merchandise and advertise for work without paying a massive commission to the corporations every time they make a transaction. They do this without spending millions of dollars on paid advertisements on the corporate media!

And they don’t even offer as good a deal as those that do advertise with the Mass Media!

If you really want a good deal obviously you should go to Angieslist!

I know there are some critics that say that Angieslist can’t possibly offer as good a deal as Craigslist if they pay billions and trillions of dollars on deceptive adverting promising that they can offer a much better deal. These people claim that if Angieslist pays that much money for advertising then they have to get it somewhere and they can’t stay in business unless they charge an enormous commission to the customer. But clearly they’ve overlooked something obvious. Obviously that is just Psycho Talk.

Clearly Angieslist has an advantage that Craigslist could never have.

MAGIC!!

That’s right Angieslist can take advantage of the magical qualities that only come with an enormous expenditure of money on decep er I mean glorious advertising from the Mass Media! This magic enables them to offer much greater deals and services than those who use low profile ads that don’t cost much if anything. This may also enable them to hire glorious Blackwater guards that can offer security to their customers. Anyone that goes to Craigslist will have to arrange for their own security perhaps even from Blackwater but they will of course have to pay more for it since they can’t benefit from the magic that is provided by the advertising dollars that go to the Mass Media. This is of course the same magic that enables insurance companies to offer much better health care to their clients if the spend trillions of quintillion dollars on advertising from the Mass Media. It also enables every lottery player to win if they buy tickets that are advertised on the Mass Media.

There are also critics who claim that these murders are only a small percentage of the incidents that happen on Craigslist and that their only involved in a miniscule fraction of the transactions that take place through Craigslist and that if you take the proper precautions that you won’t even have to worry about that.

Clearly this is more Psycho Talk!!!

More than half of all transactions that happen on Craigslist result in murders, thefts or assault!! Clearly if you want a good and safe deal you have to go to Angieslist!

There are more critics that claim that all the hype about the incidents on Craigslist is distracting from the real causes of crime that precede the crimes. They claim that social problems like poverty and abusive childhood upbringings are what turns these people into killers. They claim that if we spent more money on schools and teaching parents to raise children without using corporal punishment that escalates to greater violence later in life that they can dramatically reduce all crime whether it is related to Craigslist or anything else and they can save much more money by not building a lot of prisons and the fact that if these criminals aren’t abuse they’ll become productive members of society.

Psycho Talk, this is nothing but Psycho Talk by propagandists that are trying to destroy the world. These people that come up with this are clearly servants of Satan!

In fact the sacrifice that many of these people made may not be in vain though and many of them actually deserved it; after all they were prostitutes that don’t deserve any rights or poor people looking for work. The people that claim that the girls who became prostitutes did so only because our society isn’t doing what they should to give people good opportunities are clearly Psycho Talkers! If these prostitutes gave millions of dollars to the campaigns of politicians then may be they would have a case but as long as they continue refusing to donate billions to campaigns they deserve to be killed!

Only campaign contributors that used sophisticated methods stea er I mean earn their wealth with the help of government policies that clearly benefit everyone should be above the law. This is because that, despite the criticism of all these Psycho Critics, that they have the advantage of magic that enables them to create much more jobs and make our society function much more efficiently.

Now if only they can figure out how to charge people to breath and watch the sunset. I’m sure we’ll come up with something soon.

(For more information on Blog see Blog description and table of context for most older posts.)

The following are the original replies when this was first posted on Open Salon.

Thanks for the reminder to check my favorite categories on our local Craigslist.

bbd January 06, 2012 10:29 AM

I love Craigslist....glad this was tongue in cheek. It is local, free and current. The best and the worst.

zanelle January 06, 2012 11:05 AM

What do you mean "tongue in cheek?"

Both of you are risking your lives by dealing with this evil web page!

Go to Angieslist where you can get magically good deals without risking your life!

zacherydtaylor January 06, 2012 11:16 AM

And here I've been duped all along; enjoying the dopamine rush that comes with risking my life on each and every CL transaction! Surely I will profit more wisely when one of Angie's minions walks my miniature poodle Fie-Fie and additionally, mows down any suspicious characters on my block with the UZI all those bucks can buy!

Samasiam January 06, 2012 02:00 PM

you mean answering the ad to meet a guy who feels horny tonight is evil? ah, you're no fun.

rita shibr January 06, 2012 10:01 PM

Sam, are you sure they’re walking the dog and nothing else? If you want someone that isn’t an evil minion of Satan you have to pay Angieslist!!

Rita, clearly that would be evil assuming it isn’t me that’s placing the ad of course.

zacherydtaylor January 07, 2012 10:24 AM